The last week of August 2012 proved to be rather popcorn-worthy, did you notice?
Here Comes Honey Boo Boo....a *spinoff* of Toddlers and Tiaras, chronicling what looks to be (haven't seen it, don't intend to) the incredibly bizarre lifestyle of one of the T & T contestants and her family....drew more viewers on Wednesday than the Republican National Convention.
Yes, folks, it's come to this....Reality TV is more interesting to Americans than Actual Reality. Rather than take a vested interest in the American political process, Americans prefer to look at the antics of this family.
Now I only know what I've seen online about this show and only because the British paper Daily Mail appears gobsmacked by it and keeps running articles on it, but the six-year-old star seems to make up her own version of English as she goes along, possibly fueled by the homemade concoction of Red Bull and Mountain Dew that's termed *Go-Go Juice* that was used to perk her up to perform in kiddie pageants.
Honey Boo Boo has three older equally blonde sisters with equally cutesy nicknames (thankfully my consciousness has seen fit to wipe them off it), all of whom have different fathers, the eldest of whom just gave birth to a daughter with three thumbs (too much Go-Go Juice?) and doesn't seem to have a baby daddy in the picture. I sense a *rinse and repeat* cycle going on here.
Mom's not legally allowed to talk about the father of the 12-year-old, but the fathers of the 17-year-old, the 15-year-old, and HBB herself (Dad does live with the family, so I reckon that's Mom's longest-lasting relationship to date) are all convicted felons. One of the fathers is also a convicted child molestor. The two that she can *name and shame* whine that they're not permitted to see their offspring. I wonder why? They seem like upstanding citizens and all. Curiously, they all bear a resemblance to one another. Mom must have a *type*. Unless they're all kissin' cousins or something. Whatever.
I suppose they were the best that June (just aged 33 and newly a grandmother, who has no cutesy nickname) could do in the way of male companionship. It must be difficult to attract quality men when one has (from any angle) no visible neck due to an excess of chins and jowls, and that's one's slimmest part. (I tried to be nice because it's mean to make fun of people for their weight.) Getting pregnant at 15, 17, and 20, by three different guys, likely didn't help much. Once is a mistake. Three times in five years....you can't fix stupid, I guess. Let's face it, no male who thinks he's going places with his life is going to want a girlfriend who's had three kids in five years by three different felons. Even if they were all by the same father and he went to church twice on Sundays to sing in the choir, three kids is a lot of baggage to be taken on by another man.
So far I haven't seen June's mother mentioned, but her father says he's very proud of her. Well, what's he supposed to do, criticize her when she's on a Reality TV Gravy Train and might have some money to throw his way? Especially as she's now being touted as the *break-out star* of the show.
HBB turned out to be less interesting than the producers figured (she's only six, ya think? The pet pig is only interesting for so long) and so they're focusing more on her mother in the episodes. There was some kind of jaw-dropping mud-wrestling event followed by the self-proclaimed *Coupon Queen* (couponing is *better than sex* in her opinion) taking a trip to the supermarket with her four kids to demonstrate the Zen of Extreme Couponing. Then the granddaughter was born (no nickname assigned as of yet) and it was all about June's reaction to that extra thumb.
Yep. This is what appears to fascinate America. That's entertainment. Who needs a presidential election when one can plop in front of the TV and see what these folks are up to this week?
Then there was that pesky hurricane, with the usual commenters hollering *let em die!*, threatening the Republican National Convention locale.
First, what was Reince Priebus even thinking to book it in Tampa at the height of hurricane season? My parents live around there and they usually come up North in August just in case. Common sense....stay out of the hurricane zone during hurricane season. And Florida in general during the summer when it's at its stickiest with humidity. I don't know how people lived down there before air conditioning was invented.
Second, why wasn't he thinking about boosting an economy that actually needed it when looking for a location? Florida's full of tourists all the time. It's their bread and butter. Why not hold it in the Rust Belt where the economy could use a shot in the arm?
That right there gives one pause about economics if they can't figure out something as simple as that. I don't see why they need to waste all that money on a four-day partying blowout vacation. We have the internet. Why can't these antiques learn to use it for such things? Stay home, stream your speeches, save a ton of money. O, and go to work to earn your paychecks out of our tax dollars. Politicians don't get enough time off?
But the RNC did boost popcorn sales even more than HBB did. It was like driving past an accident, craning your neck to see the carnage.
Sticking all the brown folks from Puerto Rico and American Samoa down front to look *diverse*. Throwing nuts at a CNN camerawoman. The debt clock to remind us all how Bush blew through Clinton's surplus. Big irony with Romney and Ryan standing in front of said debt clock while the crowd chanted *I built that*. The floor vote that had attendees screaming in outrage because the *nays* outdid the *ayes*, but the ayes had it anyway. Refusing to seat the Maine delegates. (Doesn't Romney know by now you do not tick off a New Englander?) Ron Paul's supporters flipping the bird. Attempts to drown out female Latina speeches with chanting. The Florida National Guard deployed to form a protective cordon around one man's ego instead of, o, I don't know, maybe helping out with that hurricane thing? Downtown Tampa on lockdown for the RNCs duration. Christie bloviating for 2016. Lyin' Ryan....*we will not let the truth get in the way*, who needs those silly fact-checkers? Can Ann Romney ever brush her hair or apply lipstick properly? No one with that kind of money should walk around looking so frumped despite sticking her head in a bucket of Botox. Or whine about having to sell off stocks to have income while in college, instead of ascribing to the usual meme of pulling yourselves up by your bootstraps, getting jobs, and quit having all those damn kids if you're unemployed and don't want to look for work....she thinks that's having empathy for poor folk? But look, one of them's bilingual! Clint Eastwood....I got nothin' there to describe that performance. Maybe the new catchphrase to sweep the nation will be *talk to the chair* instead of the hand. Partying on a yacht flying a Cayman Islands flag....too rich.
Not a word from anyone there about Isaac decimating Plaquemines worse than Katrina! (Though Romney is *acting presidential* and *touring* the more flooded areas of Lousiana posthaste because he wants a photo op....just write a fat check to Jindal, Mitt, and stay out of the way of the mop-up.) Or anything about our troops in Afghanistan. (Does that imply Romney wouldn't stick to the 2014 pullout date?) Though there was some sabre-rattling as regards Iran. Yeah, sure, we just got out of Iraq, let's start another Middle Eastern war! And where was Bush? I can't recall a convention that didn't feature the party's previous POTUS, unless he was dead. Not a mention of him. Like he never existed. He hasn't even endorsed Romney!
What a riveting show this was, even though Romney still doesn't appear to have created any sort of platform other than *I'm not Obama, vote for me!*. The Democratic National Convention might be a letdown after the RNC antics. About the only thing that would make it more interesting would be if Obama stepped down and introduced Hillary as the nominee.
I don't get why the Republicans are mocking President Obama for going on Reddit and doing an AMA (Ask Me Anything) this past week. I thought it was cool that he even knew what an AMA was and that he stayed much longer than he said he would answering questions. The traffic this generated was unprecedented for being an unannounced event, and he should've done it years ago and on a regular basis. Honestly, the Republicans are so 1999 when it comes to the use of technology. Fist-bump to the POTUS for having a clue how to reach people and create a feel-good moment. (I bet he secretly has alias nicks all over the net and stays up really late playing just like we do.)
And yet Honey Boo Boo smashed all this in the ratings? Oy.
Where are your priorities, people? Are you not planning on voting?
Or are you just going to mosey into that voting booth and pull bars at random, remaining totally uninformed about what's going on in the political realm, but knowing all about how much money June's couponing saved? Is that knowledge going to help you make an informed choice in a national election? It's mindless drivel. Pap for the masses. Let them eat cake. Go ahead, fiddle while Rome burns; otherwise, you'll have nothing to complain about for the next four years....is that how it really works?
Seriously. Get off the trashy Reality TV thing. It's turning your brains to something the zombies wouldn't even eat if you smothered them in ketchup. It's time to start paying attention to your surroundings and the political climate. There's an important election coming up in two months. Don't screw it up. Make your vote mean something.